Break my heart.

The song "Bring Your Love to Life Inside of me" has really been an inspiration to me lately but today especially. I love the lyrics, "break my heart until it moves my hands and feet." That part of the song I have just been repeating over and over for the last few days.

Coincidentally I have also been praying and hoping and begging for a job offer from a recent interview I had. The job seemed so perfect. It would provide the time I was so desperately wanting to have and it would get me out of a job that I find awful. Well that is putting it mildly. I actually despise my current job not because it is a terrible job or it is a hard job or any of  that but because I selfishly hate the time it takes from me I hate that it is not what I want to do with my life. I hate that I have absolutely no love or passion for it. I constantly have to remind myself to be thankful that I have a job when there are so many who don't.
  I strongly believe in the concept that people should be able to do the work they love and I realize that I am not doing that and it is hard for me right now because I am not sure where I want to go in the future or exactly how I am going to get there.

So recently when I found out about this job from a family friend I was thrilled she was truly blessed by God with being able to move onto a job she absolutely desires and she was going to try and help set me up with her current job she is leaving. I went with her and I got to see what she does everyday. I sent in my resume, I got an interview with her boss, and she put in a great word for me. Everyone was praying this would be a perfect fit. I was just sure it was going to happen.

Then today I found out that I in fact was not getting the job. That tomorrow I thought I would be giving my notice of resignation I will in fact be just working another weekend of my life away in this current position.

To put it mildly my heart was broken. But I will not be swayed because even though this seemed so perfect his plan is different than mine. I have to be okay with that and I will be. Maybe this was the heartbreak I needed to seek him more and to seek my passions more and to use my gifts for what I am supposed to be doing.

Goals for the week

Goals for week of Sun Nov 14- Sat Nov 20

Personal Goals
Run 3 miles
Read  48 days to the work you love for one hour
Read bible each day


Household Goals
Make dinner three nights atleast
Clean kitchen, living room, house on Tuesday.
Stay caught up on laundry all week
Pay the rest of the bills on Tuesday


Business Goals
Continue to work on talk about pray about answers to getting my daycare up and running with anyone and everyone. ( Sometimes I just feel like reaching out to those people who know how to do something you want to do is the best way to find out information no matter how scary it seems sometimes.)

Proverbs 23: 12

Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

Progress

  Feeling a little better today made small progress on my immediate goal list for the week. With work tomorrow I am hoping my week does not get derailed, but in all honesty it is my choice to make it work or to let it fail.
It is sometimes hard to admit how easily I can let things slide by. Procrastination has been my friend for so long that I did not realize how detrimental it has become.


 For tomorrow dinner is ready to be put in the oven even though I wont be home until around 10 pm. Plan is to be awake by 9 am at the latest in the morning which should give me time to work on things I need to do before work. 

Progress

  Feeling a little better today made small progress on my immediate goal list for the week. With work tomorrow I am hoping my week does not get derailed, but in all honesty it is my choice to make it work or to let it fail.
It is sometimes hard to admit how easily I can let things slide by. Procrastination has been my friend for so long that I did not realize how detrimental it has become.


 For tomorrow dinner is ready to be put in the oven even though I wont be home until around 10 pm. Plan is to be awake by 9 am at the latest in the morning which should give me time to work on things I need to do before work. 

Goals for the week

     4 days left this week and I need to start getting some organization immediately. So I am making a goal list with some short and probably easily achievable goals. I have been way off course lately and I need some wins this week so my goal list might seem very limited and attainable but for me and my insane new schedule they will feel like a milestone if I complete all of them lol.

Personal goals
Run 2 miles
Read 48 days to the work you love for atleast 30 min.
Read bible each day (next four days)


Household goals
Make dinner three nights
Pay bills on Wed.  
Clean kitchen on Wed.
Stay caught up on laundry


Business goals
Figure out real steps I am going to take with opening my Daycare. Start a plan.

Yum. Banana bread

I almost had to throw out some bananas because they were getting very very ripe and we don't like to eat them at that point because they are way too mushy. Then I thought I would try my hand at banana bread since it is fairly easy to throw together and I had most of the ingredients on hand. I just had to pick up some flower and sugar. Which were already on my list anyway.


 I chose this recipe because I didn't have baking powder and I had sour cream and thought it sounded like a tasty combination. The bread is really good I made one large loaf and its more crusty like an actual bread than like a super, sticky, moist banana bread but its still really good. Especially for a breakfast bread.

The pictures are of about half of the loaf.  It was quite a large loaf of bread for only three bananas.